2 weeks in

I broke my rules from last week.  I was weighing myself daily and it happened again.  On Thursday morning the scale said I'd lost 2 lbs.  This morning, it said I'd lost .6 lbs.  THAT SUCKS!!!

This week I added in working out.  I've been doing crunched and squats and planks and inverted push ups and push ups and zumba and...  Last night was arm night and they were noodles when I was done.  I'm getting stronger tho, even if it's only in my own mind so far!

Tonight I need to go walking.  It's on my challenge schedule.  I don't know where I want to go walking at.  It's only going to be 21 out today so I think walking in a mall is in order but which mall?
See, this is a dilemma because if I go home for supper first I won't go out again.  I'm like that.  Mostly.  Well I can force myself out again but once I'm home I want the bra off and the sweats on and I don't want to leave again.  So this walking thing will delay supper.  I was thinking MOA would be good because it's huge and I can powerwalk thru that without doing repeats.  BUT it's also far, far away from my house so it would delay supper substantially.  I should suck it up and do it anyway.

Or I could go to Northtown (close to home) and powerwalk there, 3 times around, and boring but I could get supper faster.  Or Rosedale which is not as far as MOA but not as close as Northtown and slightly less boring that Northtown...

I should suck it up and do MOA.  I should.

1 week in!

Yeah, I'm starting the diet thing again.  My goal is to lose 30 lbs by mid-June, when I walk my daughter down the aisle at her wedding.  I lost 3 pounds during my first week!  I'm doing the Weight Watchers diet since that worked for me last time.

Here are a few thoughts after this first week:

*  I'm only going to step on the scale on weigh in days.  This past week I stepped on the scale and at times it showed I'd lost 4 lbs so by the time I got to my official weigh in, I found myself bummed with the progress of 3 lbs.  In reality it probably means I had a good bowel movement back on that 4 lb day so I should just get over it.  Or start taking a lot of fiber laxatives.  That could get ugly.

* Donuts aren't worth it!  The first day I had a Friday office donut (tradition) and ended up with only 9 points left by supper time.  I had an uncomfortable first day.  This week ALL of my days have been somewhat uncomfortable (when will my tummy adjust?) so adding to it was a BAD IDEA.

*  Fear of looking bad in wedding pictures, so far, is a better motivator for weight loss than my health is.  I'm rather disappointed in myself about that.

The next phase is to add in exercise.  I suspect my body is starting to figure out what I'm doing and will slow my metabolism to fight the impending weight loss so I'll need to make another shift to fight back.

I believe my body does this!  It does NOT like letting go of weight that it has gained!  It's just trying to protect itself but the thing is, if only it would trust me, it would understand that I'm not going to starve it (despite the fact that I ate breakfast a bit ago and my tummy still feels really hungry), I'm trying to make it healthier!

So starting tomorrow, it's time to begin the 28 day fitness challenge!  So here's to hoping I don't strain anything or throw my back out!

Let week 2 begin!!

My epiphany

I just deleted everything I blogged the other day because I realized that all I was doing was finding excuses for being fat.  I was justifying it in my mind.  I was complaining (whining) about how hard it is to lose weight and keep it off.  I had so, so many excuses!  It is but that's not the point. 


I had an epiphany. 


I need to stop whining.


I need to stop making excuses.


If I don't like something about my life, I need to man the fuck up and change it!


This applies to much more than going on a diet. 


I realized that all of my excuses and complaints about how hard it is, were getting in the way of my actually doing anything about the very thing I was unhappy about.  My excuses and complaints are obstacles to my moving forward in a positive direction. 


It has to stop! 


Time to man the fuck up and deal!!


This is why I write.  It helps things crystalize in my brain and every now and then a light bulb turns on. 

Day 17

I notched my belt in tighter and it's comfortable!  I'm making a little progress!!  It feels really good :)  It'll feel better when even more comes off.  YAY ME!! 


On my way to a slimmer self!

Day 12

The hardest part about dieting is saying “No” to myself all the time. 

Wednesday night I had my last Diet Mountain Dew.  I’m trying to go on in life without that delicious nectar of the Gods.  I’m going to miss it!  It’s soooo bad for me tho so I really need to say “No” to it and move on to healthier options.

Right now I have a caffeine withdrawal headache going on.  I hope it doesn’t take too long to pass but it could.  I’ve been using caffeine as a daily staple in my diet for many years now so it could take some time for my system to clear.

Yesterday, day one of NO DIET DEW future, we had an employee appreciation luncheon at work.  I walked in the room and saw a 2 ltr of Diet Dew sitting there.  Today Angie admitted she’d gotten that because she knew I drank it and it’d get drunk.  Well, it won’t be drunk by me.  L  I had 2 tacos for lunch.  I did not have pop.  I did not have a cookie for dessert.  I said “No”.

Today is Friday, AKA donut day at this place.  I allow myself my Friday donut.  It’s one of the things that bring me joy in life!  Plus Penelope ate the last of my Belvita cookies.  I need to get more of those. 

Then at lunch today, I put my lunch in the microwave and looked at the display of donuts, chocolates, leftover candy bars from this whole employee appreciation thing they’ve been doing all week (I’ve gotten candy every day – I’ve also eaten it – I lack self control).  I picked up a Mounds bar and put it on my napkin.  I read the news while my food heated.  I got everything together to take back to my desk but I finally paused.  I put the Mounds bar back.  I couldn’t!  My diet is working despite my not behaving strictly to the code!  I love that my weight is going down.  Much as I want that Mounds bar, it’s not worth stalling my weight reduction.  It’s happening and I felt good about that this morning when I got on the scale. 

I finally have something happening to help offset my feelings of deprivation.  They are there and will be but now I wear my belt tighter and it’s comfortable.  Now my scale # is decreasing.  My clothes feel a bit looser.  It’s been hard won.  I can’t stop now!

Day 4

It's 9 AM and I'm suffering.  I'm soooo hungry!!


It's a real mental battle to not eat right now.  I'm making steady progress with weight loss.  I've lost 3.2 lbs since I started Monday.  That's really fast but since at first it's supposed to be water weight I'm not sure if I should be concerned.


Maybe I should go chug a glass of water to fill up?


I've been reading about 1,200 calorie diets.  Last night I decided to change my upper limit to 1,250 to guarantee that I eat more than 1,200 calories per day.  Going under that is not healthy from what I've read.  Or not recommended.  The past few days (except yesterday) I ate less than 1,200.  Yesterday I ate 1,237.  Better.


I'm seriously considering the Seattle Sutton meal plans.  Thing is it's really too expensive and Lacey has taken over my freezer so if it's frozen food I won't have any place to put it all.  I may have to insist that she take some food back home and start bringing daily lunches instead of stocking my freezer with lunches for Penelope.


Doing it for just one week might help?  I'm tired of being hungry!


Thing is, if I can just stick to this my stomach will shrink and feel satisfied with less.  It's not a comfortable thing getting to that point.  I've done it before and didn't like it then either.  But it can be done!


I will splurge now and then.  Like tomorrow is donut day.  Every Friday is donut day at work.  I'm going to have my donut and I'm not going to track it.  I'll make sure the rest of the day is in the 1,250 realm and have the donut as an extra.  One donut will not derail my diet and it'll be nice to not be hungry tomorrow AM. 


I just have to hang on until then! 

Day Three

So far so good! 




I've basically cut one meal out of my daily routine (breakfast).  Easier to split 1,200 calories between 2 meals with a chance of feeling sated than between 3. 




Since Monday I've been eating just under 1,200 calories/day.  I've been losing weight steadily.  I know, I know, it's water weight that comes off first, but whatever it is, I'll take it!  I'm making better progress with this than other diets in the past while. 


I've also cut back on Diet Mountain Dew.  I've been doing that for a couple weeks now.  I have one 12 oz can in the morning and that's it.  I've been worried about how it could be tricking my body into making extra insulin.  I saw an article on that a while back and it has worried me since.  I need to stop having it daily but haven't gotten there yet.  I'm cutting a lot out of my life right now so I need time to adjust before I do more.


Eating out is off the table.


Cake, candy, pie, etc. are off the table.


Being sated is off the table.


No more breakfast. 


What I get in the meantime is this...


I'm losing weight.


My energy is low so I'm taking it pretty easy at the moment tho today I haven't felt weak at all like I did the past couple days.


I'm reminding myself that I'm tough enough to do this.  I'm tough enough to stay hungry most of the time, and tired and woozy sometimes, and keep doing this until I get this weight off. 


FUCK YEAH!!!  I ROCK!!!